Yuk Yuk

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

 

If I ever need a heart transplant, I'd want my ex's. It's never been used.

 

If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand. (good one)

 

I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, 

they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're \

home they like to be left alone and sleep. 

In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

 

My wife had her driver's test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

 

How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?

 

I know I'm getting old... the other day I walked past a cemetery and two guys attacked me with shovels.

 

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

 

Few women admit their age; few men act it.

 

Sorry I'm late. I was trying to think of ways to get out of this.

 

I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

 

 

 

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Comments (4)

  1. rebecca2013

    just what I needed….. a laugh and a smile gracias!

    December 28, 2016
  2. noahbody

    LOL!

    December 28, 2016
  3. belladora

    Thank you. Not belly laughs but we all need to smile.

    December 28, 2016