Just a fly by

Hello to those who care.  I just stopped by to say "hello".  Hope all is well with every one.  It has taken a while to muster up the patience to type and maintain my interest.  Why tonight, NO idea.  Put on some Journey in the background and here I am.

In April, I was hospitalized for a reaction and a food allergy to Bell Peppers.  How's that for strange.  All my life, I have used peppers in cooking.  Many times I used Bell or whatever was picked up.  This time within minutes of eating and swallowing them I had an anaphylactic shock.  My blood pressure was 170/38 when they took me away in the ambulance.  I couldn't breath, was delirious and thought this was "death" announcing it had arrived.  Unfortunately, I did not pass out.  I was aware but semi conscious as they starting to perform tests and worked on me.  They immediately put me on intravenous ( don't know what it was) then performed ekg, chest xrays and had the bed angled so my feet were elevated from my heart.  I was trembling but was burning up like my body was on fire.  There was no way I could speak, coherently.  I knew what I wanted to say but couldn't talk.  Well, here it is, I am dying and all I can think of is having someone take my thoughts and emotions down and document what it is to die.  They had to take my cross off and I grabbed it to hold it.  I wasn't going to die without God.  I was in agony and kept saying, "God, please take me now.  I never want to feel like this again."  Babbling, tell my children I love them, dont forget to tell my grandkids I would watch "over them".  I was soaked in perspiration from burning up, all of a sudden I was teeth chattering freezing.  I couldn't cry.  I was paralyzed with fear.  I wanted someone to document how it felt to die before I left this earth.  They were busy and not really listening to my babbling.  There was no way a human being could survive what I was going through.  The next thing I remember is them discussing a tracheotomy.  Now, I am pissed off.  No one is cutting me if I am dying.  Why bother !!  I was able to convey "NO".  Then the nurse asked me if I wanted a DNR.  What the hell is she talking about ??  Do not resuscitate me... what !  I am dying, too late now.  She quitely explained to me they may need to take extraordinary measures should I suffer a heart attack or stop breathing to keep me alive.  OH MY GOD !!  Aren't we a little late in asking this !! There had to be a witness to my saying "let me go"!!  This had to be a movie.  I am dying you crazy people and now you tell me it could be worse....  Make a longer story shorter, I did not die and was home in 4 days.  

I could not bring myself to put in to words what I went through on that day.  It traumatized me.  So for future reference my friends, it really is "decision time" when you are in the Emergency room.  To this very moment, I have no idea why I did not pass out.  OH, how I wish I had passed out and woke up in Heaven or Hell.  Never want to go through that again.  Someone, please tell me, what do I do with this ???  

Recovery took about two weeks and then I started to get better and feel stronger.  Decided to have some soup.  I microwaved it for 2 minutes ( it's bubbling), go to take it out and it spills all over my "lightweight cotton" nightgown and scalds me from my breasts to my lower abdomen.  I screamed in pain as the noodles were sticking to me.  Again, here I am frozen with pain, can't move but I know I must.  I run in to the bathroom and rip off the nightgown and my panties, soak a bath towel in cool water and throw it on me.

I wring the towel out and soak it again with cool water.  This is going on for about 2 hours.  You know I am not going to the hospital.. Then like a miracle the pain went away.  I had blisters and was burned 2 layers down but felt no pain.  All I could do was "thank" God.  I was calm, not in pain and just looking at this massive burn on my chest, belly and below.  I feel asleep in my recliner with the towel on me.  Woke up and uncomfortable but not in terrible pain.  Took two Aleve and a xanax and laid there for 5 or 6 hours.  There is nothing any one could do so I didn't call any one.  They would have thought I was crazy.  I just got scalded but I am OK.  When I finally called my daughter, she rushed down here and there was nothing she could do.  NO, I am not going to the hospital.  "Mom, that looks horrible, we have to do something."  NO, I am not in pain.. I died 2 weeks ago.  Well the no pain lasted for a day then all hell broke loose.  I had blisters all over me, little white bubbles, a gaping hole in my skin.. so I googled it.  You do not feel pain when you get a bad burn.  Not for a while, then you swell.  Oh yes, that bath towel saved me.  It was 4 weeks ago and I am still healing.  I will spare you the gory details of what you have to do with dressings and scraping.  AGONY.  

So here I am.. alive and mentally scarred but feel like I survived my own personal war.  

I am now ready to go as long as they do not ask me any questions...  

Hugs to all.   Be well.  Be back again. 

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Comments (2)

  1. RRoe

    Wow, some story. May you have a gentler story in your near future … Hugs.

    June 16, 2017
  2. howlingatthemoon

    Yeah, food allergies! For a long while I couldn’t eat raw sweet peppers but they were okay cooked. Onions too. I figured a lot was stress-related since now that I don’t work I can handle a lot of the foods I couldn’t before. Just be careful because these allergies come and go. And manufacturers sneak food stuff into their products and then, oops, neglect to mention it. I’ve know a couple people who died because of that. Did your doctor get you an epi pen? Hope so, you were lucky this time and held out for a kind of long time while they got you to the hospital. Do you have a Healthcare Directive thingy—designating who the medics need to call if you are unable to tell them what you want them to do (do not resuscitate, etc.) and had a long discussion with your designee to let him/her know what YOU want or don’t want done?

    June 17, 2017