Bert, aged 25. 'My wife's an angel'.
Don, aged 57. 'Your lucky, mine is still alive'.
2) Christmas Kiss
Romeo: What would it take to make you kiss me under the mistletoe?
Juliette: An anaesthetic.
3) Christmas Drink
A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre ......
So the barman gives her one.
4) Christmas Pudding Charms
Silver Christmas charms bring you good fortune.
Packaging Notice: Potential choking hazard: do not use with food.
5) How Was Your Christmas Meal?
We had grandma for Christmas dinner.
We had turkey.
6) Reindeer Joke
What did the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine?
This will sleigh you.
Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
Handmade gifts for that hard-to-find person.
8) Christmas Joke Pizza
Good King Wenceslas phoned Domino's for a pizza.
The salesgirl asked him:-
'Do you want your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even?'
9) Mike walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.
The barmaid looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it.
'Tiny', answers Mike.
'Why's that?' enquires the barmaid.
'Because he's my newt' concludes Mike.
(Will had to explain this riddle to me. My newt - minute)
10) Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present!